Movie Gradings

Stars, Thumbs and Tomatoes Oh My !!!

There are a number of movie scaling nomenclature which goes around and to me they never could convey on what to expect from a movie.

So after years of watching movies and reading reviews I have now devised a much simpler (at least in my opinion) movie rating scale. 

It is split across five grading worse to best, so let us delve into the first and the worst category.

1. Where's the Exit

So this is quite literally the bottom of the barrel. Movies so bad that you don't care for the price of the ticket or the warm popcorn and cold fizzy cola that you holding on to. Nothing can incentivize you to stay in your seat any more. The sweet embrace of death, the prospect of gouging out your eyes all seem better options than sitting through another minute of the turd fest rolling in front of you. 

For me there are very few movies that have every descended in to the depths of this infamy. Some examples that pop up for me are Cats (2019), Die Hard: A Good Day to Die Hard (2013) and The Spirit (2008).

2. Cant wait for the Credits to Roll

These fare only slightly better than the previous category. These movies are bad but may have some minor redeeming factors like your favorite actor playing a role, being part of a popular franchise / series or may have some ground breaking special effects included. So owing to these facts you may force yourself into your seats looking at your watch every few minutes trying to figure out when this arduous journey will end. 

Some examples here being 300: Rise of an Empire (2014), Battleship (2012) most of the Transformer Movie sequels.     

3. One time Popcorn Fest

These are where most of your Summer movie releases end up falling. Movies just barely at the watchable level. With some warm buttery popcorn in hand and company of friends you are able to watch the whole thing through but take away these elements and the movie quickly regresses down to the previous level(s). 

Any Fast and Furious franchise movie falls into this category. Also most of the Micheal Bay movies and as of late some Marvel Movies have started to reach down to this category. 

4. Worth Another Watch

This is category is where you start to sift away the mediocre and reach towards cinema gold. These movies are entertaining enough for you to enjoy the whole experience and would even like to go through it once again. These movies may not necessarily be at the level of being classics but are definite one time watch and even good enough to extend their entertainment value beyond just the initial viewing. 

Any Spielberg movie, any Christopher Nolan movie, most of the MCU movies.  

5. Multiple Viewgasms

Here are gold standard of movies for me, the crème de la crème, the best of the best. For me very few movies are able to elevate themselves to this highest echelon of cinema viewing. These are movies so good that you could watch them over and over and over and you sit there being entertained. 

My picks for this are The Dark Knight (2008), The Avengers (2012), Inception (2010), The original Lord of the Rings Trilogy, the original Star Wars Trilogy.